I do think that sometimes it is the other way around.
Therapists and coaches often take the stance, that first, you have to love yourself (completely) and only then is it safe and prudent to get involved with another person in a romantic relationship.
And although that seems reasonable and makes sense in many ways, Ido think it is(utterly)unrealistic.
There is this sense that goes along with this stance, that some how you must attain a good amount of perfection on your own first, and then, and only then can you expect for an intimate relationship to go well.
I do think it is often the other way around.
Intimate relationships have a way of showing us, relentlessly, what is going on inside of ourselves. After all, isn’t it all a mirror? Isn’t the outside world but a mirror of what is going on inside of us–even the layers of our own being that are still wrapped in the dark layers of our unconscious?
Relationships with other people have a way of leading us exactly to the places within that need loving attention, a gentle light shown on them; so they can awaken, grow, transform and thrive.
Maybe it is the other way around?
Maybe by getting entangled in relationships that can truly and deeply hurt at times, we can find our way back into loving ourselves deeply.Maybe without the relationships on the outside, we can’t find the old hurts, crusted over emotions and stagnant energies that so long to have our undivided and loving attention?
And maybe we can find the way back to connecting with our very own source–prodded by all the sign posts that our relationships so kindly provide us with? After all, relationships have a way of pointing anything and everything out that does not work, in a hurry.
Maybe you’re longing to meet the divine, or better yet merge with the divine within the sanctity of your own heart, could be accelerated by you choosing to deeply engage in a relationship?
Maybe it is the other way around.