Please, ladies, take your sweet time!
Hello, my beautiful ladies!
I just want to remind you, that when you are dating, you can take your time. There is no rush.
It is best you take your time. To really get to know someone, step by step. Before you invest your emotions. Once you start investing your emotions, it is very hard to let go when you see red flags popping up all over the place.
Often women are a bit desperate to get into a relationship. It is true. We all have been there. We all have a deep desire to be loved and to experience deep connection. This is just how the feminine energy feels at its best.
And as a result, we often are not aware of how much our dating is informed by a sense of desperation. And rather then getting to know a man, we are speculating whether this is the one or not. There never is the need to speculate. You never have to trust someone until they earn it.
Please don’t invest your emotions and your trust until a man has revealed himself of being worthy of you, and capable of having an adult, mutually beneficial relationship with you.
There is no need to ever take a risk in dating. This is maybe the biggest myth about dating. You don’t have to go out on a limb and hope it will work out for the best. Please don’t do that.
Instead, get to know him. Take your time. If he is in a rush, slow it down. If he looses interest in you because of you slowing it down, trust me, he wasn’t going to be good for you anyway.
And if you take your time, and you keep your eyes wide open, you will get to know him over time. Let him show you who he is.
As you do that (taking your time), you give him 100% benefit of the doubt. You don’t suspect him of anything, you don’t anticipate anything negative. You simply take your time, for him to reveal and confirm that he is 100% trust worthy.
Men are very generous. They will give you all the signs right from the beginning. A ladies job is to learn how to read the signs and she needs to be willing to read the signs, even when it says “you have to wait this one out, we are not there yet”.
But let him do the job of revealing his trust worthiness. You don’t have to jump of a cliff, with your fingers crossed, risking your heart to break into pieces if it doesn’t work out.
There never ever is the need to take a risk in dating. Never.
What you do need to do is become aware of the part of you that is in a rush. That is in a hurry and ever so eager to overlook the red flags. The part of you that lets go of her own boundaries to accommodate him.
I recommend you do the opposite. You get really clear about your boundaries, and you learn how to lovingly uphold them for your own sake and the sake of the relationship. Because relationships with one person in it who has weak boundaries will make the relationship fail over time.
So why not practice strong and healthy boundaries from the beginning? If he respects them, you know you are on the right track dating him. If he has an issue with them, you also know something; this ain’t the man for you.
So my dear ladies. Just take your time. Dating is not gambling. It is a very straightforward way and context of getting to know someone. Learn who he is. Learn about his values, his boundaries, his needs, his ideas about life. Just become really curious and then see if you find that would make a good partner for you.
I know this all sounds very simple, and it really isn’t that simple. The reason all of this is not simple, is that our emotions have different needs and different messages within our own being.
And that is why it is so important to heal our emotions. Our trauma.